I am republishing my writing form 1999. it seems as appropriate today as it felt back then for me.
Talking Frog © Jayni Bloch 1999
The pond was dirty. Green slimy stuff was floating on the surface. When I glanced over the surface, I saw green. When I looked into the pond, I saw slimy bubbly algae. It reminded me of vomit. I would rather not have looked too closely.
The trees around the pond were changing colours. I could smell fall in the air. The sun was still hot, steaming silently like the sweaty thoughts that clung on the edge of my awareness. “Please God give me a gap, I need some kind of miracle, let me out of this trap of being a boring human being.”
The rock was hard to sit on, but I enjoyed being out in the fresh air. On top of the thick green algae-carpet a fat frog baked in the sun. It’ s eyes big and bulgy but passive, appearing to peek at me from its back. I wondered how it could keep so still for so long….
The staring stillness was disturbed by movement coming somewhere from my left side. I noticed a frog jump-swimming in short bursts of activity followed by silent anticipation as if it was waiting for a response form someone. Its eyes were golden and glowed with intensity, watching me with a fixed stare on its green algae marked face. I stared back. This frog talked and wasn’t asleep like the others.
It stared then jumped and moved and stared again. This went on for some time as I watched the frog trying to get some reaction out of me. What was it trying to tell me?
Another frog came swimming from the depth of the pond to the surface. It stopped mid stroke, went absolutely still for a moment, then dived back into the deep to hide under the rocks again.
Most frogs behave like frogs. But some frogs don’t. This one with the golden eyes was still waiting and watching my every reaction.
“You are so restless”. I said and thought I saw a wink. It’s responding to me! I talked again and it started to jump, desperately trying to get itself up the rocks to get closer to me.
“You want me to take you out of there don’t you? You want to get away from this pond. You feel trapped in this stinking world of yours. You don’t feel that you belong, do you? You have golden eyes, you see! You’re praying for a miracle just like me.”
God is probably looking at me right now like I am looking at you, saying: “I can’t take you out of your pond. You belong there with the other frogs. Where will you go? You are still a frog, golden eyes and all. You are part of a bigger evolutionary plan that I cannot upset now”.
The frog became frantic as if it did not like what I said. It jumped around at the edge of the rock trying to jump out of the water, its golden eyes full of desperation.
My tears dropped onto the frog like kisses. I felt its pain.
The rocks were to high for it to reach freedom from, to be able to jump beyond the confinement. The jump was short, and the frog disappeared between some of the rocks, exhausted in its attempts to jump out.
I looked down to see where it was; there was no frog with golden eyes any longer, only lazy frogs lying passively on green slime.
The time gate closed for a miracle to happen for the frog……and for me…I wonder?
I often think back on this experience, thinking of not belonging or out of place. Sometimes about having a timely gap of an opportunity that can quickly vanish if not taken.
I had such opportunities from time to time in my life and thank goodness for recognizing them and taking them. When the gap of an opportunity closes, there is no way of doing anything but wait again for the ‘miracle’ moment to come around again. We cannot always force change; we have to flow with the opportunities and timelines given. There is a reason for that. I only see that now, after all this time, why I had to stay in the ‘pond’, preparing for what I could not see then. I was feeling uncomfortable with my destiny and wanted ‘out’ too soon. When the time is right, the jump will happen in the right way, supported with the Universe giving me wings. The time is right now to be fully me, and I did not know that I had to wait for divine timing then.
What is the opportunity given to you now?
How are you going to use it?
What is the jump each one of us need to make that will make our pond beautiful?
Blessings to you all,